true healing

I was recently in a small class setting.

We went around the circle making introductions, but instead of sharing the usual information, we were asked to share a story about ourselves.

The woman sitting to my right told her story but as she talked, she unexpectedly hit a pocket of pain and she started to cry.

She was in grief and because there’s no one alive who hasn’t experienced grief, the rest of us in the room understood. We may not have understand the specifics – her details – but we understood that grief sometimes feels like falling into a bottomless pit. We understood that it sneaks up on you and knocks the air from your lungs.

And so we sat there.


We were present with her.

No one tried to fix her.

No one offered a platitude or positive affirmation. No one tried to pull her away from the pain or redirect her focus. No one tried to talk her pain away, and no one looked away.

We all just sat there with it, honoring the moment for what it was.

And when she was ready, we continued around the circle and there was laughter and amazement and all of the emotions that rise when people tell the truth.

And that is what healing is.

It isn’t a removal or a denial of anything.

It’s love and love is presence.

It’s being fully in the moment, a witness.

Energy is in constant motion. The moment of deep pain doesn’t remain steady – it moves and evolves and shifts into other forms. There’s no need to try to chase it away or pretend it doesn’t exist. There’s no reason to fear it or judge it.

There is only ever a need to honor what is. In the moment. To be with it. Our whole selves present.

That’s how we heal ourselves and others:

By sitting assuredly in what we are and who we are and whatever the moment presents.

By loving what is.

This life.

When we stop categorizing thoughts or emotions or experiences as good and bad, when we stop running from what we think we don’t want, when we allow ourselves instead to be fully present and rooted in the moment, we are in love.

And when we are in the state of love, we are healed.

Not perfect, but whole.

Fully seen.

And aware.

When we honor the moment – that’s true healing.