today god is the cashier

Have you ever felt like every part of your life is crashing at the same time?

A little over a week ago, I pulled a muscle in my lower back and I've been in various levels of pain ever since.

My mobility and flexibility are impacted.

I can't go to yoga.

I can't sit or lie down comfortably.

And this is just what's going on in the physical. 

I've got other stuff going on, too.

Root chakra stuff.

Nothing feels stable.

I'm rolling with all the horrible stories that linger around in my subconscious.

It's been a hard week and I've been doing what I do - prayer painting, obsessively watching esoteric YouTube videos, and begging my spiritual allies for help.

This morning, I woke up early and realized I needed pads and would have to run to the drug store. Soon after, however, I realized I was craving granola, so I decided to go to the grocery store instead.

Now, ever since the arrival of the Click List, I haven't actually gone inside the grocery store much. Being able to order groceries online and have them delivered to the trunk of my car is an introvert's dream.

But this morning, I would have to go in.

I pulled my hair up in a clip and put sunscreen and sunglasses on my face and hoped that it was so early, I wouldn't see anyone I knew. 

It would have been difficult for me to feel any worse about my physical state and appearance. I was in a low place.

I found what I needed without too much trouble and stepped into one of the two open check-out lanes. 

They guy in front of me was buying five large bottles of Pedialyte and two canisters of Clorox wipes. I kept my distance from him and sent him some love. 

While I waited, I noticed the young woman at the cash register.

I noticed her because she was absolutely radiating light. She was chatting with the customers in her line and when she had to deal with a bunch of unmarked tomatillos for which she didn't know the code, she showed no frustration. She just went about doing her job with kindness and good humor.

When it was my turn to check out, she asked me if I'd found everything I needed. I said that I had. And then, you know what she said to me? 

She said "You're so naturally pretty, girl."

It startled me.


There must be some mistake. 

"Thank you," I said, and then I stood there, sort of frozen in disbelief.

"Were you born in February?" she asked me?

"Yes," I said. "How did you know?"

"I've noticed that women who are naturally beautiful and don't have to wear a lot of make up and have a little gap between their teeth and stuff like that tend to be born in February."

Now, it should be stated here that the woman saying these things was herself naturally beautiful. Beautiful. So, to have an incredibly beautiful person say to me that I was beautiful was a little bit funny.

It was also medicine.

And I want to be clear that it doesn't matter why she said it or how she knew I was born in February - although, that little dash of astrology was a nice touch on God's part. What matters is that she said to me words that I needed desperately to hear. 

She gave to me what I wasn't giving myself.

She was the answer to my prayers.

I left the grocery store feeling like it was okay for me to be me, to be a person, in this body.

I left there feeling worthy of love.

We can do this for one another all the time. We can choose to be kind. We can choose to reach out. We can choose joy and compassion.

This is how God speaks through us.

God touches us through one another.

I asked for help and received it in a most unexpected way.

I'm going to try to pass that along today.