Things are moving and shifting and it’s not about me.
I have always been captivated by St. Bernadette and the Lourdes vision. There is something so beautiful, so gentle, so fierce about it - the way the young girl doesn't know what she is seeing, but knows that she is compelled to return; the way Mary shows up again and again, revealing a little at a time about who she is, who Bernadette is.
Surrender, in the spiritual sense, can be a difficult concept.
In my experience, whenever I've heard someone say they're surrendered to God what follows is something horrible.
The god they're surrendering to doesn't resemble the God I know. The god speaking to them is a god of the ego or psychosis.
Perhaps it is because the word surrender is so often associated with the language of battle, it carries with it an energy something like defeat.
If I surrender, then have I given up?
If I surrender, do I lose myself?